I think my vagina is haunted
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
