I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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