Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
