i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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