Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
