i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
