Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
