Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
