the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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