College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
