I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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