As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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