is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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