Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
