Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
