Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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