U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
