i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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