You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
