Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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