there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
sarcasm needs its own font
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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