I wish I could punch you in the face.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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