biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
