I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
