not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
