I didn't shave. On purpose
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
