this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
only you would photoshop your dick
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
