My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
