No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
