i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
