The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
