I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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