He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
