just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
