Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
