My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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