Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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