hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
