i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize