I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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