So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
