Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Less talking, more tequila
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize