i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
