508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
