I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
