Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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