dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
