I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
