I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
