I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
