I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
