i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
