so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Randomize