Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
