I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
