i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
